“Know before whom you stand.”
This phrase has me thinking about my life as an executive recruiter. As someone who works in sales, I’ve learned that sales is really about learning the other person. The more questions you ask, the less you talk, the more you learn.
When I’m getting to know someone who is considering a new job, understanding their “why” can shape the entire conversation. Everyone comes from a different background, a different way of living, and a different way of thinking. It is our job to ask questions and be curious about how and why someone became who they are. The goal isn’t to judge them, but to meet them where they are.
During my time on the Jewish Federation of North America’s Young Leadership Cabinet, one of my favorite parts has been sitting in small caucus groups and learning why people choose to give to the Jewish community. I’m always surprised by the people sitting around the table. Some come from communities with very little Jewish life. Some grew up surrounded by a strong Jewish community. Some are incredibly wealthy, while others grew up very humbly. And yet, they are all there for the greater good—for the future of our people.
You never really know who you may be sitting next to, or the story that brought them there. Sometimes, simply asking, “How are you today?” or “What brings you here?” can open up a world of possibilities.
Recently, I had a conversation with my aunt about the comfort—or discomfort—of wearing a Jewish star necklace. I’ve always worn mine proudly. But lately, I’ve found myself thinking twice in certain settings. There are moments when I wonder if I should shield my identity and rely on the fact that, at first glance, someone might just think I’m Italian.
But maybe this is exactly the time when we need to be a little more courageous. To show ometz—courage—and to be true to who we are, not only for ourselves, but for those around us. Because when we are willing to show who we are, we give others the opportunity to know who they are standing in front of.
As we begin this new year, may we have the strength and courage to know who we are, and the curiosity to learn who is standing in front of us. May we resist the instinct to judge, and instead ask one more question, listen a little longer, and remember that everyone carries a story we may not yet know.
Shana Tovah.