It’s almost the (secular) new year. Everyone is making plans to celebrate – festive parties, children staying up past their bedtime, and family or friends gathered nearby. Each of us has our own tradition, whether they plan to watch the ball drop-in Times Square or (one of my favorite quirky Midwest traditions) watch the perogies drop in Indiana, but perhaps the most ubiquitous New Year’s tradition is making a resolution. Some of us resolve to go to the gym more, or eat healthier, read more, or travel somewhere new. Some of us promise to call loved ones more often, or let go of past hurts, some vow to be more open to possibilities, or to actually see through a previous resolution.
All in all, the tradition might look different but hold a similar sentiment to the new year we celebrated just a few months ago. On Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur, we reflect on the year that was, and promise to be better in the year to come. On New Year’s Eve, we think of all the times we didn’t live up to our highest potential and resolve to reach higher. In both the secular and Jewish traditions, renewal comes with resetting expectations and redoubling our efforts to be our best selves.
From year to year, this practice might be indeed difficult. Especially because being honest in our reflection can often lead to being quite hard on ourselves. At times like those our resolve becomes weakened because we preemptively expect disappointment and failure. It becomes hard to remind ourselves of both our imperfection and our potential in the same moment.
The good news is, that even just by calling ourselves Jews, we are reminded that we can actually become better versions of ourselves. Even if, or especially if, our past deeds are mistakes we’d rather forget. Our namesake, Judah (from whom the word “Jew” is derived), gives us this example. Judah who in his younger years shirked responsibility, conspired against his brother, and lied to his father, returns this week to prove his growth as a son, brother, and community leader.
This week, in parshat Vayigash, we continue to read about the reunion between now Vice-Pharoah Joseph and his 11 brothers who are in Egypt looking for food during a famine. The brothers don’t recognize Joseph who takes the opportunity to test them. Joseph planted a goblet in the youngest brother’s, Benjamin, sack of food and threatens to enslave him while the eldest 10 are sent back to Canaan and their father Jacob. Begging, Judah approaches Joseph. “Please, let me take the place of Benjamin. Benjamin is the child of my father’s old age, and his only brother of my father’s beloved is dead. If Benjamin never returns, my father will surely die.” Judah goes on to recount how Joseph “died” and admitted to his role in the plot.
Seeing Judah quickly and desperately make decisions different than before; Joseph is overcome by emotion. He reveals his true identity to his brothers, forgives them, and interpret for them how Joseph’s misfortunes happened so that in this very moment he could save his family.
It is in our nature as Jews to be like Judah – to miss the mark, to take a personal accounting, to resolve to do better, and then to actually do better. It is not in our nature to be perfect, but rather to never let our past misdeeds keep our more perfect future from becoming fulfilled.
Whatever this New Year’s celebration bring for you, let the legacy of Judah inspire your resolutions.
Shabbat Shalom and Shanah Tova!